Click on her name for more pics

It’s been a while since I’ve done a wank of the week, or anything else here, for reasons you already know.  This magnificent choice comes in from Morgor.  You read my mind.

I remember way back when Milla was a reporter/fashion correspondent.  She was a model as far as I know.  Didn’t matter what she did for a living, because what she did for me was help me discover my manly duties.  Wanking being the one I spent the most time perfecting.  Still do.

There she is in all her lovliness.  Look at those patent red boots and her sideboob.  You know why I love patent red boots?  Because they’re shiny and slutty looking and they wipe clean.  You know why I love sideboob?  Because they give the world reason to make wipe clean patent red boots.  I like to unload all over them, in other words.

Jesus she looks like she’d eat you up in between killing zombies.  That’s fine with me.  Once I’d done a bit of munching on her I’d die happy having a gross puss oozing brain eating zombie nosh my knob off.  That might be quite kinky actually.  All the while our Milla here would be dipping her fingers into those purty white panties and giving herself pruned up fingers.

On a beach with a bikini that opens with just the pull of a couple of tiny bows.  That’s not safe.  A pervy cunt could walk up, flash his massive four incher before yanking those bad boy bows and showing her nips and clunge for all to see.  Or for him to see anyway.  I know what you’re thinking, what are the chances of that happening?  Not likely I’m afraid.  Her agent won’t tell me when she’s likely to be on a beach with a minimum security bikini on.  Typical.

I love Milla, not only is she a wankatronic android from the planet Cumsponge, but because she loves skimpy clothes.  I don’t know if you could call what she’s wearing clothes exactly, but it’s just grand.  She also sports the occasional purse.  You know what’s in that purse?  A mind control ray gun that turns you into her sex slave.  And a retractable 3 foot android detachable cock.  Because sex slaves shouldn’t be the recipient of the pleasure.  But I would because I’m sneaky that way.  “Oh no, mistress overlord Milla, please don’t violate me with your space schlong”. Little would she know.

And here for no other reason than I found a topless picture of Milla, is a topless picture of Milla.  Some would say that it makes her look like a whore.

Personally I think the blue eye shadow and bright red lipstick have that end covered.

Wanktastic.

Ah Scarlett.

You make me feel funny in my winky.

I want to wear your arse on my pinky.

I wanna see you naked and do stuff to your junk,

Then soak you down in my creamy white spunk.

I’ll give you a tongue lashing that will cause an orgasmic twinge,

With your legs around my neck as I munch on your minge.

My winky is so hard that the swollen head glows,

As I stick a finger in my ass and suck on your toes.

There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you,

I’d even make a toasted sandwich out of your poo.

So leave that guy you’re with, he’s an awful sap,

I’ll give you everything you could ever want, except for a scorching dose of the clap.

Wank of the week has been away for the last while, but it’s back.  A little change is that the posts won’t be called Wank of the week anymore, but after the spermy recipient themselves.

So without further a do, here is the latest installment.

So you know who it is already by the title of the post, but some of you may be wondering who she is.

Well, she’s the fat moron loving no shit taking piece of spunktastic fodder that appeared on the alright if nothing else is on sitcom “The King of Queens”.

She loves it when overweight sweaty men dangle their mannaries over her lips for her to suckle on.

She loves it that all fat men seem to have smaller cocks due to the amount of fat rollage around them.  Between that and the man tits, it makes it look like they’re hairy women with over grown clits.

I’ll bet she even loves it when a musky fat man tickles her nipples with the clammy belly button fluff he’s just dug out after a long day on the couch.  The fluff usually smells like a Big Mac fart with athlete’s foot.  Manly, in other words.

She also loves being in a cage until I want a sandwich.

Of course with her no nonsense attitude, she’ll take no crap when I say that I’m not in the mood for a threesome with her and the blonde that used to be in the same sitcom as her.  She’d be all like “Na-aw, you beddah get yo ass in dat bedroom and do me and dis udder beyotch”, and I’ll be all like “Yeah, ok”.  That’s because of her New Yoik accent.  She takes no shit, but I love her for it.

There she is lying on a fur skin thingy.  Looking all sexy and demure.  She has to lay on a fur skin thingy, because she, like all women who have a thing for fat men, knows that if she were to lay on a KFC skin thingy she’d be eaten alive.  With gravy.

There she is with her tight toned body and her abs.  She knows that men like me are too busy playing the new Xbox they just treated themselves to and eating pizza to worry about exercise and non greasy skin.  That’s why she worries about looking good for the both of us.

Now some of you will say that this is not a real picture of her.  Maybe so.  But I know what is really real.  I know that she’d love me to jizz all over those lovely jubblies.  She loves that is sometimes has the taste and consistency of a Crunchie McFlurry.  She loves that because I can’t wash it properly, my foreskin is like a jack in the box of aroma.  She loves that I have so much unwashed fluff in the crack of my ass that it looks like my anus is in dreadlocks.  She loves me for all of my fat sweaty manliness, and when I smear crunchy peanut butter between her toes and wank into a jar of her face cream, I know she does.

And don’t you dare take that away from me.

Mrs Claus.

I’d come more than once a year for her.

I’ve a bulging sack full of goodness for her.

I’d cover her mince pie with my custard.

I’ve got mistletoe hanging from my belly button, pucker up.

I’m gonna baste her in my juices.

She’ll have to pull on my cracker until it pops.

Then if we’re up to it, we’ll have sex or something.

There has long been a chick who has made my swizzle stick all sticky.  She was in an American sitcom I can’t remember the name of.  Then she turned up in the best thing to hit tele in ages, The Big Bang Theory for a couple of episodes and brought it all back.

Now she’s in new American thingy Eastwick.  Which was going to be a good thing, but then they went and cancelled it.

So I guess I’ll have to wait until she gets so desperate for a long lasting show and a career boost that she poses for Penthouse with a bottle of Crisp n’ Dry and a baseball bat.

Don’t know who it is?

The loverly, wanktastic, bonerific, ginger minged Sara Rue:

There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to this hot piece of grade A meat.  Of course when I say meat, I’m not being derogatory or sexist, like some feminist minge bags would say I am.  I just mean that I want her only for the sexual gratification her cheeky form would give me.  She doesn’t become a piece of meat until she ends up in my boot, like that hooker who wouldn’t shut up screaming.  Until then, she’s safe enough.

I don’t quite know how to describe what I’d like to do to the lovely Sara.  I’d have to nom her boobies.  I’d have to nom her bum bum.  I’d have to nom her furry burger.  I’d have to nom her toes.  Fuck it, I’d nom her shite off a used condom if I had to was given the chance.

See she looks all innocent there, but that’s just to throw you off the fact that she isn’t wearing any panties under that dress.  This is because she loves the feel of a fresh breeze across her clown purse.  There’s nothing like the feel of a wisp of crisp air brushing over her freshly shaven cherry strudel, or so she tells me.  Yeah she loves the free sensation of an uncovered pair of bacon strips.  That coy look she has going on there means that if you don’t take her somewhere a little more private soon, she’s likely to wet her socks before you’ve even had a chance to bury your Trusty McSpunkchucker.

Look at that cheeky smile, what a filthy little fuck rag she is.  I don’t know what more I can say.

I know what I can say here though.  I’ll have to move that strategically placed sheet over her derriere and separate her cheeks with nothing more than my tongue.  With a round and pert cheek in each hand I’ll play her like a harmonica.  And of course while I was trying to untie her balloon knot I’d be baguetting my french stick increasing the pace just enough to make sure I was ready to toast her toes as she was gushing her way down my chin.

Then we’d cuddle, cos I’m all about the romance.