Blocked
You know what I hate?
When bloggers blog about the fact that they’ve nothing to blog about.
That’s what I’m doing here.
I don’t know if I should blog about the fact that today I was turned on by an old woman in sandals today, just because she had painted toes.
I don’t know if I should blog about the spam comments I get from people informing me of pre-teen sex web cams. It just makes me feel wrong, especially since none of them are a day under 14. Do I have a case for false advertising?
I don’t know if I should blog about how I’m toying with the idea of doing a stand up gig (or at least trying it out) following the egging on from a friend who is an actual stand up comic. I’d hate to be one of those people like on X Factor who think they can sing because their nan thinks they’re the dog’s bollocks, then turn out to be a complete tool. Because I would cry and shout at the audience.
I don’t know if I should blog about how infrequent my erections are becoming these days. I mean the sex web cams nearly had me, but they’re lying cunts. But at least I have a semi.
I don’t know if I should blog about how I wish I lived in a soap opera and once, just once I’d be standing in the lobby of the hotel to receive a call that the bride never showed up for the wedding, giving me a day off.
I don’t know whether or not to blog about the fact that I’ve been blogging for nearly three years and have just over 400 posts. Surely I should have more than that. Ok, so this is post number 424, but still.
I don’t know if I should blog about how itchy my chest is after that nurse shaved it last week. Although I kind of already did.
I don’t know if I should blog about my plans for time travel just so I can go back to anytime in the past and suck my own cock. I mean if you could, you would but I don’t fancy having a few ribs removed. I could try Yoga to learn to bend, but it’s so small I’d basically have to be able to lick my own arse at that rate. Which is also another point in the “pro” list for time travel. But would it be self love, abuse of time travel or incest?
Dunno, I’ll have something to blog about tomorrow. Maybe.
