Maggie Gyllenhaal

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I remember seeing Maggie Gyllenhaal for the first time in that weird movie Donnie Darko.  There’s a scene where you can clearly see her nipples through her shirt.  This is exactly what I wanted to do to them.  And what’s more, when I imagined doing it, she had that exact same expression on her face.  That baby doesn’t appreciate what’s happening here, it’s just got a matter of fact look about the whole situation.  Fucker.

Now I’m not one to get into graphic detail, as you well know, but if I ever came home and Maggie was spread out on my couch like that, the furry thing wrapped around her would crawl away out of sheer unadulterated fear.  The squeals that I’d have emanating from that delicious example of woman would defy anything that would naturally occur.  See that look on her face?  It’s a look of “What are you going to do to me with that massive 4 inch rod of pleasure?”. She wouldn’t be wondering much when she woke up from a multiple orgasm induced pleasure coma.

So when she did wake up from that coma, she’d go back to her place and thoughtfully tie herself up to a weird wooden stool thingy while wearing a magnificent ensemble of fuck me thingies with her hair in that cool retro style thingy and that sexy I want you to take me in the tradesmen’s smirk slapped all over her Chevy Chase.

She can be sofisticated too though.  Here she is in a cocktail dress, probably waiting for me to come and pick her up so that we can go somewhere that might call for a cocktail dress.  Like a threesome with me and Emma Bunton.  She wouldn’t be wearing underwear though.  Classy doesn’t have to mean conservative.  She loves the feel of a playful breeze caressing her lovely lady lips.  Plus it would give easy access for Emma to dip her toes in for a dollop of lady lotion, which would wrinkle and marinade her tootsies up good and proper for me.

Enough with the vivid imagination shit.  I’d drill this woman until I struck oil.  Her muscles would ache and she’d have lock jaw.  Some of you may think that she’s just average, but when she’s crawling around your living room floor on her hands and knees purring and lapping up my pools of man milk like a hilarious and fuckable lolcat, I deny any man not to get a massive 4 inch throbbing semi and spank her with it.  I deny you.

I just love that she’s always got that smirk on her face, and she obviously loves this kind of sexy lingerie in soft lighting, pouty lipstick and the lazy come to bed and tongue my balloon knot eyes.

I’m off to write a nasty email to Christopher Nolan for blowing her up in the second Batman film, The Dark Knight.  What have we got to look forward to now?  Magan Fox in a rubber one piece suit as Catwoman?

Fine, I suppose that’ll do.  But I’m only putting a 3 inch effort in for now.