It’s the small differences

The ever lovely Baino asked the other day “What’s the difference between a ginger and a red head?”

Poor, poor Baino.  But I suppose she’s not alone.  So I shall educate the masses and describe in as much detail as I know how, the main differences between a ginger (ghing-er) and a red head.

Ok, basically in a nutshell here it is.

A man will knowingly stick his length of loveliness inside a red head, no questions asked.  Faced with a ginger however, and a man’s member will shrivel making it near umpossible for them to fornicate with said hell serpent.  This leaves only ginger men left, as the laws of nature surely dictate that no women of ginger stature shall produce further ginger babies.  This is of course unless they are cunning enough to seduce the less picky of the sexual world like clowns, who always love a laugh. Many’s a time they’ve toured the country seeking out the ginger women and getting freaky circus style on their asses.  When they can’t find a ginger woman, they whack off thinking about them.  Some of them even wish they were ginger, hence the bright red hair and wigs and make up that tries to distract away from the evil commie ways of the ginge.

Ginger men are the scourge of all that is evil, for they carry the demon seed.  Some women are weak to the wiley ways of the ginger man.  They promise the women that they won’t spill their ginger seed inside their bellies, but just like that freaky dream scene from The Fly you’ll soon end up squeezing out a throbbing, slimy screaming larva of ginger evil.

When a ginger man and a ginger woman were to get together, the world would implode in a mess of ginger pubes and more bright, day-glow nipples than you could shake a freckle at.

Part of the Geneva convention was to outlaw ginger to ginger fluid exchange, just in case.  They slipped up though and missed two gingers defying the laws of biology in Mexico, and we have the swine flu.  That’s right, gingers caused the swine flu, the runny nosed oinking fucks.

Now, red heads on the other hand.

Red heads are angels on earth, they were sent here by the baby Jesus as gifts for all the things we ever did right in the world.  While clowns are busy dressing up like blind trannies Twink, real men are slipping into a snug and warm red head.

When you look at a red head as she confidently strolls down the street in her stilettos and trouser suit on her way to her “Kill the gingers meeting” you can’t help but think what nasty things you’d like to do to her.  And you know that she’d let you too, because that’s the way of the red head.  Gingers are too hung up on boundaries, chaffing and legalities to get down and dirty, this is their major evil trait.

A red head’s vagina looks cuter than a teddy bear rimming a puppy and feels softer than a marshmallow handjob.

Words cannot express just how much I love red heads, but my actions speak louder than words ever could which is why I travel the world offering toe jobs to each and every one.

If any of you are still unsure of what a ginger and a red head are and why they are so different, here are some visual aids to assist you.

Ginger

Red Head.

Case.  Closed.